readthrough

bra-va-do. n. a pretending to be brave or bold when one is really afraid.

broth. n. water in which meat or a vegetable has been broiled; a thin, clear soup.

am-big-u-ous. adj. having two or more possible meanings [Dont be so ambiguous in your answers].

in-e-bri-ate. v. to make drunk.

Min-o-taur. n. a monster in a Greek myth, with the head of a bull and the body of a man. It was kept in a labyrinth in Crete, where it was killed by the Seus.

glum. adj. silent in a gloomy or sullen way.

through-out. prep. all the way through; in every part of [It rained throughout the day].

poign-ant. adj. having a sharp and deep effect on the feelings; moving [a poignant memory]. Keen; sharp; piercing.

i.e., an bbreviation for the latin phrase id est, meaning "that is" or "namely".

scab. (skab), n. a crust that forms over a sore as it is healing.

schism. n. a split or division between members of a church or other group, when they no longer agree on what they believe.

thor-ough. adj. complete in every way; with nothing left out, undone, etc. [ a thorough knowledge of the subject].

un-quote. interj. that is the end of the quotation.

e-on. n. a very long period of time, thousands and thousands of years [the first men lived eons ago] also spelled aeon.

though. conj. In spite of the fact that; although [though he wasn't very tired, he fell asleep].

o-pi-ate. n. any medicine containing opium or a drug made from opium, used to cause sleepiness or to lessen pain. Anything that quiets or soothes.

R.S.V.P. or r.s.v.p., abbreviation for French words meaning "please reply".

zig-zag. n. a series of short slanting lines, connected by sharp turnes or angles. -zig'zagged, p.t. & p.p.; zig'zag-ging, pr.p.

**3** part one

Being 13 year old girls was never an easy option for these three young ladies, crossing their paths at a juvenile delincuent facility south of the border, Diana unpacked her belongings from a plastic bag she carried with her, comes across this marching footsteps walking into the bunker room, metting a set of girls under very unorthodox circumstances. the two of them are already in there, and have lost count of how many days has it been since. They make her feel welcomed assigning her with a bed; the guards come in setting up rules, militarizing the interns, does not respond to a question made by the guard, immediately getting sucker punched in the stomach, turning their attention at the next person in line; bug-eyed-she stood in silence, without knowing what to say or do, one of the other two girls told the guard she was new. she got dismissed just this time, -the guards would get to her later-.

Diana was beginning to understand where she stood, and the grounds that she now had to walk on; always very outspoken with whatever she felt was good to fight for. Dealing with keeping her mouth shut, was too much to handle. An authority figure had never scared her before. Her soft side was clay molded on the walls of the inside of her chest, opening up space for the tough and self sufficiency void that pushed her into behaving the way she did out on the streets.

Lisa kept quiet to her self most of the time. An innocent bird on the outside, but very cerebral on the inside, got caught stealing a jewelry store to get her next fix, carrying a small hand gun in her back pocket. inside the facility she kept close to nadya. running chores together everyday, Nadya would plot schemes to trade contraband, sending Lisa to the kid from across the hall-the dealer of pills, crystal and cigarretes.

When Nadya got arrested and handcuffed, she was driven to an all woman jail cell, right before asking her age and name. When the police found out she was a minor, it was hard to believe she could be so run down at her young age, she looked as if she was a mother of two. rughed. beat down from her hard core lifestyle. Once inside the facility for young delincuents, the other girls looked up to her, and immediately took advantage of that situation taking Lisa under her wing to manipulate her at will.

Lisa on her own was a handfull, for weeks she had been carefully watching the truck sent by the municipal government that provided food for the interns. A medium sized truck with a refrigerated back box -that pulled in every wednesday afternoon. Lisa had already played it all out in her head, she was ready to move, but couldn't do it on her own, she knew Nadya would back her up (she was the only one with enough balls to go ahead and make it happen). In the dark, after lights out, beneath the bunkers, delicately measuring the steps, and how will they go about it. Diana, covered herself with those blankets that smelled 'previously used' pretending not to hear them on her first night there.

When she woke up, hit the showers, half naked, very awkward surrounded by strangers, reporting to the office afterwards and getting assigned to her duties in the kitchen: helping out-washing dishes.

Her second night in, coming back to bed exhausted couldn't help overhearing Lisa & Nadya plotting and whispering. They both had no choice but to pull Diana into it ...

up front

a nose ski slope, on the wall.
with a fairly large forehead,
over some ingrown eyebrows,
with expanding feline corners
dubiously intense look in his eye,
prominent jaw line
broken stars on the door.
After my eye covered the screen;
i turned it off ...
and asked myself:
-Is that really how people see me?
it's very bizarre to look at your self from the outside
fair to disagree ... self-conscious.

Paulo.

textbyMurrayHealy

Want to change the world but the world won't listen? or just want to earn a living and have a life? Who wants a proper job anyways?

You're young and frighteningly talented. You've spent years learning and training. and you're hungry to unleash your powers on the world and change it forever. And what happens? you need to live, so you look for a job. And then you look a bit harder. And when finally you get one, you're underpaid, undervalued, underestimated and overworked to the point where you don't have any energy left to pursue your passions. You water down your ideas -if you're allowed to have any ideas at all, that is- so as not to scare the boss. When they work, someone higer up the ladder takes the credit -and most of the profit. And then your short-term contract (because it's all short-term contracts these days) isn't renewed and you're out on your ear.

text by Murray Healy.

page. 136. THE FACE magazine. may 2000. volume 3. number 40.

a drug holocaust

a drug holocaust coming back to Mexico in the borderline, rumor was, that Mexican and American authorities together stopped a young man carrying some kilos strapped to his chest and stomach, right there on the dividing line, blocking young pedestrians the entrance back to their respective country. [being youthful was being guilty].
As i tried to walk the broken corners of the bridge back to my country, noticed all the corners filled with hooligans and gangsters all the way to the top. before i stepped in-someone in the crowd stopped me to tell me: If you walk in there, you're most likely to get beat up or gang raped. The rage of being detained for no reason, had made them turn against each other. All the San Ysidro area was swarmed with teenage heads sitting and waiting creating sporadic outbrakes of desperation and impatiance.
I decided to take my chances and try to make a run for it on the broken corners of the bridge, the first night sleeping on asphalt like everybody else, didn't feel as if i was to be punished for somebody else's mistake. The trolley stopped making the route considering their last station a dangerous hazard. The military came in with electro-shock weapons to put order among civilians, my voice could not be heard even if i shouted. The last fast food restaurant next to the border was broken into-looted, made workers stay under threat to keep making food for everyone all night long. chaos all over.
The next morning had well in mind that i was not going to stay there for long, i knew i could talk my way out of it with one of the guards. I convinced him i could make it across with his help, then he told me all about the small hole in the ground and the advantages it could bring me. after a cautios walk amongst vicious broken corner standers, the guard led me the way, after all those eyes delicately followed our moves quesioning themselves -why? why would a guard help *one* out of the crowd? even though we were out numbered they all remained standing next to the wall on the side and corners.
When we finally got to the top the guard showed me the hole in the ground made out of solid concrete, he told me to get in there, if I made it out in one piece, then i could walk across the border: back home to my country.
The size of it was ridiculously small, I had to first put my arm through it, my head was jammed together with my armpit. Once my eyes were in, I found a long cylinder with a set of striped spirals, like structured DNA, which was my job to slip myself through without getting locked in; my way down was hard but not impossible, the stripes at the end of the spiral became smaller and smaller until it made me reach the floor and look up to a small light above, my whole body dropped and turned directions to climb my way back to the top. I had to take the other way from where i came in (the other side of the spiral) only to find that this side on my way up could easily lock me in if i took the wrong step, that could mean being jammed there to forgiveness, the voice of the guard was long gone. for a moment one of the steps caught my lower abdomen, on lock, and somehow managed to escape and push my self up to finish what i started. The light kept coming closer providing me with some fresh air, I could almost feel the outside, I could almost feel conquering the challenge, the last set of stripes made the circle as wide as an open exit.
The guard was not there as I stepped out to the cold asphalt, instead all the rest that waited to go across, hoping for the madness to end- stood in silence, they all recognized that a little effort and tenacity could potentially pull them out of there as well.
Walking out of there with my head down, happy to prevail, sad and angry to look back at their faces screaming for their ticket to come up ... the sirens went off. Paulo.

¿ ...?

¿Qué somos mas lo que uno escoge ser?

-irma Sofia Poeter.

¿debo o no debo?

¿como debo comunicarme en la frontera? ¿debo o no debo?

La cotidianidad en esta ciudad me empuja muchas veces a adaptar mi lenguaje coloquial y/o regionalismos. Por lo pronto me rehuso a usar algunas expresiones:

Por ejemplo.-

Si me sobre exalto, decir: Que chido! ó Que padre!

No conozco a nadie que sea de Tijuana que diga así cuando se emociona, en cambio: Que chingón! lo vengo oyendo desde siempre y me es un indicador muy fuerte de que la persona efectivamente es de Tijuana.

ya sabes...

es tan solo un subtitulo intercalado, equivalente a un: -Yeah, you know? it's great.

aplicado en ejemplo.-

Nos detuvo la patrulla ayer en la madrugada, y... ya sabes, tuvimos que aflojarles lana para que nos dejaran ir... [tampoco]

¿Estas de acuerdo?

Despues de articular argumentos y exponerlos, finalizar con un: ¿estas de acuerdo?, para esperar y confirmar la replica.

***Quiza algun dia me vaya lejos de aqui (lejos de la frontera), pero por lo pronto lo escucho en otros y me rehuso... Paulo.